The Generation –X has brought with it super fast gadgets, cars, babies and surprisingly – Love. The other day I was watching an interview of a normal couple on the TV who were worried to death that their relationship was now boring may be leading to a condition they called ‘Falling out of Love’. It struck me then that this was one phrase I never quite understood. How can two people fall out of love? It’s as if love was some contract which they decided not to renew after a while. I am referring to normal relationships which are not abusive or mutually hurtful which start out with a bang and eventually fizzle out just because the people involved fell ‘out’ of love. I have a hard time wrapping my head around this phrase which appears to be a convenient way of saying I am bored and need something new but I don’t want to break the vows I took or promises I made.
None of us would disagree to the fact that the initial stages of a love story are priceless and remain blissfully immortal but being the ardent movie buffs that we all are we do realize that every love story should have a plot and should progress towards the climax. I am sure none of us would want to be stuck in the first scene of the movie for 3hours (unless it is a Karan Johar’s extravaganza which he churns out every year in a tribute to his own other flicks). When we demand a great plot and pace in a love story we paid to watch why is it that we fail to realize that our love stories need to mature as well with time and head towards more meaningful lives together?
The phrases ‘excitement’,’ freshness’, ‘boring’ in the context of relationships are so overrated by the television media that it is no longer acceptable for a couple to admit they did nothing over the weekend. It is utterly sad if you don’t spend a fortune and take trips during the long weekends or if you don’t gift expensive things to your partner or even say we are content with how we are with each other. even before you know it, according to the so called law your relationship is hanging by a feeble thread and is at its expiry date. If we could take a minute and think who brought this shift in our perspectives we would realize it’s the clever marketing departments of the rich corporates that thrive on our fears. Starts right with the greeting cards, flowers, jewellery and houses that we are forced to consider as gifts to keep the relationship alive. They have been very successful in driving the point home that your contract is always open ended and up for negotiations and you cannot let yourself settle into the relationship and feel at home.
These things are always good to have in a relationship but they cannot and must not define it and definitely not make you feel as if you have reached the limit in your love for each other. Have we ever fallen out of love with our parents and siblings? We don’t even see them every second of our lives after an age do we? Then why is that we second guess our love for spouse even if we spending every waking hour with them? We have probably heard this a Zillion and one times but - to me Love is what you have when you know the person inside out and still stick around. Love is knowing he is not going to fill the dishes in the sink with water and yet give him a smile when he comes out or knowing she is going to get lost on her way out of the mall and meeting her at the store just to ‘Carry her bags’. Love is saying nothing but still having the best conversation ever. Love is building your entire life around him or her. Yes it does get a little boring but who says electrons in your life should eternally be in an excited state? There is something called a stable state too. Not inert but stable.
We have conditioned ourselves in a way that our relationship never evolves nor does it mature into something beautiful. We want to keep it at its adolescent self where we are eternally young and madly in love for the very first time. I may not be an expert in eternal love but I can say that the crazy love we have in our eyes at the beginning may be exciting but its more rewarding when you see that understanding smile and a look in his eyes that says “How very like you! ..but I got your back!”
Who says love stories need different lead pairs? There can be a new love story every day with the same ones. Have you not EVER learnt something new about him a year or two even after having known him? I know I have and it sure makes you say ‘Wow!!’ (‘Whoa!!’) very promptly. Well, here’s to celebrating that eternal love every time you forget his shirt size, every time he burns down the kitchen, every time you forget the key and make him run barefoot to the leasing office for the spare one, every time he burns the midnight oil finishing an assignment for you and every time you watch his action flick with a hope that someday he is going to join you for a romantic one and every time you tell each other ‘ Let’s grow Old together!!!!’
